March 24, 2015

Interview: Chastity Belt

How basic is Chastity Belt? 

Chastity Belt seems like a lot of fun. There's sufficient evidence to back up this theory – check out their Napoleon Dynamite-esque glamour shot band pictures where they don matching black turtlenecks and mom jeans! Look at their video for new single "Cool Slut", which is like the opening credits for a PG "My So-Called Life"!  And I was personally amused when the Seattle-based foursome (made up of members Julia Shapiro, Lydia Lund, Gretchen Grimm, and Annie Truscott) hilariously titled their last album No Regerts, which pokes fun at dudes who pretend to be cool, getting fucked up at lame parties, and nip slips. And that's not all – on their first release, Fuck Chastity Belt, the group added the note that they're "the worst band to ever exist" and "this is the worst music you will ever here". Except that's not true at all. Chastity Belt is really fucking great.

Chastity Belt's actual music is no joke, despite a song on their new album being called "Joke". They're not always super serious, but the group's stellar latest effort and first on Hardly Art, Time to Go Home, hits on heavier issues and offers guidance while enveloping you in spacey, at times even jammy, surf-inspired rock. Chastity Belt is here to tell you that you can hook up with as many people as you want to, life can feel like a joke, and it's OK to leave the party early. Like I said before, Chastity Belt seems like fun, so I thought they would be down to take some ridiculous Buzzfeed quizzes instead of answering interview questions. And I was right! Check out their answers below and make sure to check out Time to Go Home.

THE LE SIGH: Which pop star is your enemy?

JULIA SHAPIRO: I got Ariana Grande. I don't really feel like she's my enemy...but then again, I'm pretty sure we would NOT be friends. She seems pretty lame.

TLS: Are you a fuckboy?

 JS: Apparently I'm not a fuckboy. I'm kind of disappointed. Maybe I'm a fuckgirl though, eh? Is there a quiz for that, or is it just "are you a slut?" I want to take the slut quiz.

TLS: Which U.S. President are you?

JS: I got Barack Obama. Tight. Although I think I'm more like Michelle.

TLS: What kind of garbage are you?

JS: I got pizza box. Seems like a good type of garbage to me. I love pizza.

TLS: Which Taylor Swift single are you?

GRETCHEN GRIMM: I got "I Knew You Were Trouble." According to Buzzfeed this means that I'm really honest with myself and live my life without feeling like I have to please others. That would be pretty cool. The last Buzzfeed quiz that I took was, "Which Friends Character Are You?" I got Gunther, which did not give me much faith in Buzzfeed quizzes. Although I do think Rachel is the hottest Friend.

TLS: What is your Gossip Girl storyline?

LYDIA LUND: 'NYC's worst liar.' I have been watching a lot of Gossip Girl lately and I am pretty disappointed in this answer. In high school I convinced several of my friends that I rode motocross. They believed me for at least 2 weeks. I think I'm a great liar. I don't think Blair would ever find out if I lied to her.

TLS: How twee are you?

GG: I guess I'm really not Twee which makes sense cause I've never heard that word before.

TLS: How basic are you?

ANNIE TRUSCOTT: I'm "not basic at all". I'm not so hip on popular culture or wearing ugg boots so I guess that takes me out of the running for a "basic bitch". However, I do love leggings and Taylor Swift, and a yoga instructor HAS changed my life.

TLS: Which Kardashian are you?

AT: I got Kourtney Kardashian. Since I'm not basic and don't keep up with the Kardashians, I have no idea what Kourtney is like. Apparently she is monotone and wetblanket but caring and thoughtful? I'd say I'm more of a dry, warm blanket.

TLS: What is your personal theme song?

AT: My personal theme song is "Run the World (Girls)" by Beyonce. THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I'VE GOTTEN ALL DAY.

Listen to Chastity Belt on bandcamp.

Written by Emily Thompson