September 11, 2014

Split: Slurp's Up / The Flaccids

The Flaccids and Slurp’s Up teamed up for this split –
and it sure as hell rubbed out something worth a more than a flaccid boner.

Chicago’s queercore scene is giving me a lot of urges – one being an urge to incorporate the image of a long, floppy dick somewhere in the midst of this write-up. This is a first for me - prior to the influence of Slurp’s Up and The Flaccids’ latest split, I would have been way beyond squeamish to even consider using the word "boner" in a review. Before listening to this, I was still an eleven-year-old that blushed when she looked up the word “shit” in the dictionary. But this dose of fed-up-with-everyone-else’s-bullshit snotpunk has left me a new woman. These political punks have released this record with two aspects – two EPS, two completely different takes on what it means to defend yourself – and they sure as hell got through to me with this unique self-defense class.

A once-through of this tape is like dealing with a bad faucet and some really shitty plumbing. Opening with a line borrowed from Kathleen Hanna’s "My Life with Evan Dando Popstar", it’s apparent right from the beginning that Slurp’s Up song are all about their words. One liners are accompanied by ringing guitars and thick bass lines. Their slower songs like "Julian Casablancus Took Voice Lessons" will trickle into you like a loose nozzle slowly but surely dripping ideas into your ears and your brain. The Flaccids’, on the other hand, take a different leap at feminist punk. It’s like kicking that faucet Slurp’s Up were fiddling with out of place all together and fucking up the pipe system – and that burst will leave you sodden with what The Flaccids have to say. The Flaccids’ side of this split is the core of what it means to be a side-splitting, gritty punk band; a whole lot of stomping, a whole lot of screeching, and a whole lot of swearing. As Slurp’s Up work their way into you, The Flaccids’ open their side of this tape with "Fuck Yr Macho White Boy Entitlement": tough, rough, and pushing all us girls into the pit with eager eyes and thumping hearts without a flinch. Slurp’s Up will nibble at any guilt they can gauge among your insides from that one time you misused a gender pronoun three weeks ago, and The Flaccids will finish you off with their final track "You Always Look Like Shit". By the end of this release, these Chicago BFFs will have sunk their teeth into your gut, and bit right through to your core. Clench your fists, grit your teeth, and ready yourselves before you get yourself into this tape; you’re in for bumpy ride.


Listen to The Flaccids and Slurp's Up on bandcamp.

Madalyn Trewin, a scrawny Australian teenager, who is feeding her obsession with dogs, David Lynch and Daniel Johnston twenty-four hours a day. If not that, she's writing about things she likes and saturating her friends in glitter so she can take photos of them to post onto her blog.