March 24, 2014

Monday Mix: A Place To Hide

Get away from me, everyone.

It's usually around week three of a tour that I start to feel it. The creeping suffocation and heightened insanity that sits beside me all day in the car. I start to think obsessively about being alone somewhere in a secluded forest, somewhere where I don't have to talk to anyone for days at a time. Somewhere where it's just me and some books, a guitar, and food I didn't have to pay for. It's at week three that it becomes exhausting to be bored; the smell of regurgitated car air that is 97% stale weed smoke starts to choke me, and the talk of my bandmates feels like a dagger to the face because why are they talking right now? Can't everyone just shut the fuck up? Then we get to the venue and I can drink all the whiskey I want and release the pent up frustration and anxiety that I've been holding onto all day. I feel better, I feel relief, I'm having fun, I love everyone. But then we load out and I'm back in the car and it starts all over again.

Last week was SXSW and despite what I've mentioned above, I was having some serious tour envy. All my friends were partying with each other, drinking, making memories, and I wanted to be with them. I love being on tour because I live for all of it: seeing new places, sniffing out strangers, playing music every night. There is nothing better and it's still so new and wonderful to me. While I work like a sheep every morning, saving and saving for the minivan of Mannequin Pussy's dreams, I count down the days until I can be back out there: in the prison of a car, feeling suffocation, and fantasizing about being alone again. This Monday Mix will take you through some of my favorite songs right now, set up in a way that mirrors all those emotions that makes me want to be alone. Starting with the hysterical and ending with the calm and seclusion I've been hoping for.

1. "Swim" - NĂ¼ Sensae
2. "Leave Me Alone" - Hysterics
3. "Interference Fits" - Perfect Pussy
4. "285" - Kitty
5. "Harpoons" - SISU
6. "I'm Gone" - Tamaryn
7. "Sound of a Void" - Wax Idols
8. "We Hit A Wall" - Chelsea Wolfe
9. "Better" - Ides
10. "Home is Where" - Diamond Bones
11. "See the Country" - The Babies
12. "2013" - Sunflower Bean
13. "Dark Matter" - Little Big League

Mix artwork by Hannah Presdee

Written by Marisa Dabice